So, the New Orleans marathon is this weekend. And, as usual, I wanted to get my chunk on in advance of a big run. James and the Transatlantics were playing at Buttons last night, so naturally I went with some friends to enjoy my usual array of delicious niblets.
Here is the anger part. One of the best things about Buttons was their happy hour. Until seven it was half price on many of the appetizers, particularly the wings that I rave about. So, as it was only 6:45, I asked our waiter (who by the way continually ran his hands through his Justin Beiber hair at my table) about happy hour. WELL! First I was informed that they no longer do half priced appetizers. WHAT! Are you kidding me? And then he proceeds to hand me a new menu called “bar bites”- which is essentially half the amount of the original appetizer for half the price. OK, so instead of four wings, you get two for half the price. Essentially the same price, right? I can do simple math, thank you.
Anyway, so I’m like “huh, well ok, I’ll just order the full order then.” I mean I think we know I can eat some wings. Although despite my formerly super cool editor’s note, I have never eaten four orders. And the waiter is like “yeah, it’s a better deal to just get em at once.” So, we order two full orders of wings.
This is the truly terrible part. The wings come and there are only THREE TO AN ORDER!!!!! Are you kidding me? First no more half price happy hour- second a deceptive bar bite menu- and then insult of insults- only three wings to an order!?!? This is a terrible error. See, your regulars KNOW about the happy hour. OK, too expensive, fine- just do away with it. But to deprive me of that all important FOURTH WING!!! Sadists.
I couldn’t help myself. When I got home, I looked up wing prices and found this link about Chicken Wing Prices…
Restaurants Get Creative as Chicken-Wing Prices Soar
So here’s what I’m saying. Buttons, just charge another two bucks for the order. I don’t care. I’ll pay it. But don’t leave me in a seat expecting four wings-juicy, delicious flash fried wings with spicy blue cheese sauce- and deliver a measly three!!! I can’t be chunky with three!!!!!!
Also, when I bring large parties to your restaurant all the time- parties that drink Tito’s and eat like linebackers- maybe I could get a waiter who is less pissy? I mean he had the largest top table in the restaurant, and he was a bitch. Just saying.
On the other hand, the food was FANTASTIC as always. So the terrible chicken wing fiasco was virtually forgotten by the time I left. But, what kind of Chunky leader would I be if I didn’t point out these little fallacies.
Anywho, my friend Jules brought me lemon cupcakes (MY FAVORITE), so the evening wasn’t a total loss. I was even able to block her out when she said “I substituted apple sauce for the oil” so they were fantastic. You can tell from the picture I am in a wing induced comma.
I tell you this much, if I go to Bonnells tonight and order Oysters and the damn things come with only three, I may go postal. Jon, are you listening???And Tito’s- don’t you even think about lowering the alcohol content in your vodka, cause I will cut a bitch.