Havent blogged in a while, so let’s start with something important and relevant to world issues. For example, it’s my birthday week! Yep, this Saturday I will turn 46 for those of you keeping count. Man, that is terrible. As I see it, I am on the downward side of fifty and more than half of my life is over. It’s time to turn the fun dial UP a notch. There’s not a lot of time left.
This whole “on the downward side of fifty” brings up an interesting point. I have, of late, found myself in the awkward position of MUSE. Yep, just like the muse of old, I have been inspiring creativity. As most of you know, my husband is a well known guitar player. Recently, along with his regular gigs, he picked up an awesome Elvis gig playing guitar for Kraig Parker- they call em ETA’s- Elvis tribute acts. We went to see him play in front of 2500 people at Winstar last week. It was wild!
Most of you know that. What you probably don’t know is that James got his degree from the University of Texas in Fine Arts. He went on an art scholarship and his paintings were kept as a part of the permanent collection. Talent, right?
Well, as recently as the last year he has painted over 50 canvases and had an art show at the famous Milan Gallery. He has two additional shows scheduled. All of that is great, right? He is still using his creativity to make money- just expressing it in another form. Ok, here’s the problem.
I, apparently, am the muse. That means my butt and/or breasts are featured prominently in many of the paintings…paintings exhibited publicly. He does this from memory much of the time, as there is no way in hell I’m posing. Sometimes, he sneaks around and takes pictures when I’m not looking-like when I’m out by the pool. Sometimes he asks me to pose for a picture-like a couple of weeks ago when he said “put on your bikini, your orange pumps, and this Mexican wrestling mask…” No, I have no idea where he got that wrestling mask.
Are you kidding me?
Nope. There is a giant painting of that exact get up. There is also a painting actually titled “Betsy’s Butt.” Ugh. Did other muses have to put up with this? I am frankly scared to walk through the house for fear that any particularly awkward moment will appear in a painting. Lets take this…Painting one. He painted this from memory in Belgium and left it there with a friend. UMMM, never in a MILLION years have my breasts been that large. Artistic license or wishful thinking?
Now, Painting two is fine. Me in my party dress…little boobs, but for the most part no nudity. I actually like this painting, which now hangs in my mothers house here in town. But this… is questionable.
That’s me just minding my own business in the backyard. Is nothing sacred. I won’t even publish Betsy’s Butt…you’ll have to go to a show to see that one. So after months of ducking, diving, dodging and dodging…I gave in. I figure if someone wants to paint me in a bikini at 46, what the hell!!! Let’s just go for it. So my peeps, here it is…
Hey, don’t judge. The way I see it, some day Bill Gates will have my chunky butt hanging on his wall for a cool million. But I might need James to die or go insane first. Hmmm…
Birthday Week Begins!