This morning I was finally rested from my Vegas trip with Suzie Q. You remember Suzie Q, don’t you? Well that girl took me on an all expenses paid first class trip to Las Vegas. It was amazing. We ate at the finest restaurants and saw “Jersey Boys” and just basically ripped it up. One night, I was so ripping it up, I couldn’t even find the place to cash my ticket. I wandered around for thirty minutes and finally stumbled back to my room. Terrible.
Anyway, I was sick and tired and delayed Monday. So yesterday, even though I put a full day in at the office, I drank two large bottles of Smart Water and went to bed at 8. I woke up this morning, and THAT’s when I realized I don’t want to be super mom. I’m tired.
I woke up at 7:00, made eggs, bacon and toast for Claire and took it to her in bed. Then I made her lunch and the coffee and started filling the pool that was low. While the coffee was brewing, I cleaned the bathrooms, den, kitchen and second dining area. Then I turned off the water and cleaned the backyard and patio furniture- which btw still had a cooler full of Michelob Ultra from the 4th of JULY out there-4th of JULY. When that was done, I went in and woke up Claire- who still hadn’t eaten only to find that she needed help with math homework I had specifically offered to help her with the night before. So, we knocked that out, and she got up and started to get ready.
I then cleaned the rest of her room (she was out of time) packed her backpack and went in to get her brush to style her hair. The bed in my room needed to be made, so I knocked that out, and finished getting Claire to the car. I dropped Claire at school, came back home, got ready for work and went to make a deposit at the bank. After that, stopped at Walgreens to pick up hair and makeup items for the house, and headed to work. At 9:30 a.m.- just in time to start paying the bills from the office and my home.
I have a full day of appointments and am still trying to figure out how to work a workout in. I am the main income source for our family, so no doubt I will work again through the day only to head home and start cleaning again.
Long and short- I am complaining. I just go back from a trip and I already feel like I never left. And I am coming quickly to the conclusion I just don’t want to be supermom. I need help-and it takes a LOT for me to admit that.
I can remember very clearly the day I decided as a child that I would never depend upon another person to support me. That I would be financially and performance independent. And, I have always been proud of that. But I am 46 years old and I am to the point I want help. It’s not like I haven’t said these words before, indicated that I was drowning in responsibility. But no matter what I say, it never changes.
But that being said, even as I felt as though I was falling apart this morning, I was watching the 911 coverage and realizing that I truly to have so much- and so many other people have lost so much. I don’t know where this nonsensical rant it going, really, I guess I just am GOING…As long as you keep going the little ups ultimately out weigh the downs, and time simply passes and it’s another year gone.
Man, I’m a downer today. It is 911 however…and even Zig Zigler gets the blues…when he’s not gettting a fee.