Perfect every time…

I’m sorry, I just don’t understand!!!!! Oh my gosh, that was all I could think at the gym yesterday. It was the last thought that went through my head before I started crying. Yes, you heard that correctly, Ironwoman cried. Sigh.

So anyway, as you know I do Crossfit with Shawna for my strength training. It’s really hard for me to get there some weeks, and traditionally, this is one of my busiest months. (The holidays apparently give rise to many people joyously shouting “This is the last fucking Christmas I will spend with you by God”- in celebration of Jesus’ birthday) So, as usual in January- the great New Year’s resolution month- I have only been to the gym about 6 times. I’ve been running like crazy, but that strength training is important, I’m told, so I’ve been trying to get at least two Crossfit workouts in per week.

Anyway, yesterday sucked. All day sucked. I couldn’t get anything right. My clients were needy (you know who you are). And try as I might, it looked like I was going to miss the gym again.

Low and behold, I found myself speeding down 30 to make the 4:30 p.m. class so I could pick Claire up at 6:00 from play practice. It’s a miracle.

Anyway, I got to the gym too late to warm up. So, I changed and came out for strength training and the workout of the day (WOD). When I looked at the board, I was crushed. “Deadlift…” Deadlift is a particular lift focusing on the hamstrings and legs- Youtube it. Ok. There is not enough time to put it here.

Here’s the thing. Apparently (see previous post) I am the worst deadlifter in America. Seriously, I took Crossfit essentials to try and learn all these specific forms cause I really am all about form. And, I always thought I had pretty good form. I’m an ox, frankly. I can lift a lot of weight. It’s almost embarrassing.

But for the life of me, I can’t get my deadlift into a shape that our uberfit Coach Talon likes. And yesterday I was just NOT in the mood. I went all the way into the corner and hid. I thought “I’ll just knock these out as best I can…be reallly careful about form…and maybe he will just leave me alone. Because if he says anything today, I’m likely to cry.” (Thank you menopause.)

So I sneakily skulked into the corner, set up my bar and weights and started. I got about half way through when I saw him…his coal black hair shimmering in the gym light…heading towards me with his perfect 3% body fat body…that look of general disapproval on his face.

“No, Betsy. You are doing a stripper dip.”

Fuck me.

He then proceeds to show me for like the 10000 time how I am doing it wrong. I am watching people around me. I am looking in the mirror. I am watching Talon, like really watching him. And all I can think is…..

FUCK ME!!!! I STILL DON’T GET WHAT I’M DOING WRONG. THIS SUCKS. I HATE THIS. I HATE CROSSFIT. I WANT TO SHAVE ONE OF HIS PERFECT EYEBROWS OFF AND SHARPEE IT BACK ON WHEN HE IS NOT LOOKING. THIS IS THE MOST HORRIBLE WORKOUT IN THE WORLD AND I QUIT.

I literally considered resigning my membership right there. I’d been thrown off the rack earlier in the month. Now this…? Ugh.

But see that’s where Shawna comes in. She knows me so well-even from across a crowded gym. When we started the WOD, she ran WITH ME. (she can smoke me, I think we all know) She encouraged me during and hung with me after during stretching. And after, I felt BETTER, I really did.

Talon is a fantastic coach and I encourage ALL of you to go workout at crossfit with him. He has been very patient trying to describe this lift to me. And, he demands perfection-that’s what it’s all about- the Crossfit culture- of which I am NOT a part.

But, sometimes I don’t need perfection, I need encouragement. That’s why Gibson is my coach. That’s how she got me from fat 40 year old to Ironman. That’s how she will get me to a deadlift that even Talon will approve.

I won’t quit. I won’t cry. I won’t be 46 and inactive. I won’t give up. I will master this move. And then I will lift more than women half my age, cause that’s how I’m built.

So to my GF’s out there in training land- even Betsy cries at the gym sometimes. Shake it off and get it together. We have got this.

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